Shooting A Basket

Time to go full throttle, folks

If someone near and dear is beginning the  long holiday weekend wearing a look of pure befuddlement, search for the source of their tension and nip it in the bud.

It might just  be the angst of heading down the home stretch of the exquisite agony that is holiday gift-buying season. There’s nothing like the sight of Santa’s helpers making startling finger gestures and filling the crisp winter air with naughty words to get the old heart pumping.

Or, it could be someone still trying to figure out what Red Sox Corporate Court Jester Tom Werner meant when he vowed that the club would go full throttle in the off-season bazaar also known as the free agent market. 

So far, it looks as though Werner confused his gas and brake pedals.

Suggest that no one should pay much attention to Werner when it comes to anything connected with baseball. Rumor has it that when someone told him to score a  play 6-4-3, the confused sit-com producer responded, “We’re not allowed to use No. 4. It’s one of the special numbers on those big pie plates hanging up way out there where the suckers pay gobs of money to wash down hot dogs with over-priced beer.”

Perhaps it’s the queasy feeling that the Patriots might bring back Bill Belichick for another season as Grand Exalted Ruler of Football Operations.

The GOAT has already begun studying video of long snappers and gunners to snap up with the Pats’ first pick in the NFL Draft.

There are all these kids from Division III  schools that will have Nike’s tail wagging non-stop. And all those dummies frittering  away picks on All-America quarterbacks will get fooled again.

Or it could be the most befuddling basketball team in the history of parquet floors. Most Celtics are suffering from whiplash trying weather the storm December Madness their club has wrought.

One night the C’s hand a  game to the Golden State Warriors by challenging the record for most ridiculous 3-point misses set by Marcus Smart. They made 58 attempts beyond the arc and missed 41 of them,

The next night they torched the Sacramento Kings by hitting 22 of 42 3’s.

What a resilient team … or it could be a stubborn team that simply refuses to work the ball inside even when it has a glaring advantage in the paint.

Well, maybe between now and April the Celtics can come to terms with their chronic case of basketball schizophrenia.

Or they won’t, which will open up blocks of time to focus on the Bruins during their Stanley Cup playoff run.

That is assuming, of course, that the B’s don’t stumble and fall like they did in the first round last spring.

But then it will be baseball season, and the Red Sox will be going full throttle.